Today’s track: Jason Isbell - Live Oak
There’s a version of you that some people will never stop seeing.
Maybe the old you was always late. Everybody you grew up with knew it — he’ll get here when he gets here. Or maybe somebody caught you picking and eating your boogers in the third grade, and just like that, you were the booger eater. For years. Forever.
Or think about Chunk in The Goonies. His buddies make him stand at the gate and do the truffle shuffle — lift the shirt, shake the belly, perform the bit — before they’ll even let him in. He’s a kid, so fine. But that became his file. That’s how they saw him, and they were not updating it.
Or take the Greg in Superbad.
You see those people around town. Somebody from grade school, somebody from the old neighborhood, church, sports, whatever. And you can feel them quietly pulling up the old file the second they spot you.
Then you go off to college, or you move to a different town, and nobody there knows you as the late guy, or the booger eater, or the kid who did the truffle shuffle, or the kid who peed his pants. Nobody’s holding you to it. You don’t have to live up to those old standards. You don’t have to pick your boogers and eat them. You can leave some things in the past and get a clean start — and you don’t even have to ask for it.
I lived a version of this with my own name. Growing up, all through high school, I was Robby. Then I went to the University of Kentucky and started introducing myself as Rob. New people, new name, new version of me — and it stuck. I actually thought I’d go full Robert once I got into business, but Robert’s so formal, so stiff. I stayed Rob. Now when somebody calls me Robby, it’s a tell — I know I either met them before college or they go that far back. And that’s fine. They can remember me however they want. But I got to decide who I walked in as everywhere after that.
Here’s the bigger one. For about a twelve-year stretch of my life, I weighed 225 pounds. And it wasn’t because I was lazy — sure, my diet could’ve been better — but the real thing was sleep apnea. I was waking up seventy-six times an hour. Seventy-six. That’s nearly every thirty seconds, all night long. Once I fixed that, I didn’t have to eat my way to energy anymore, I was finally able to work out, got on keto, and the weight just fell off. But for those twelve years, plenty of people just knew me as the chubby, undisciplined, kind of fat dude. That was their file on me.
And here’s the irony. The people who knew younger me knew me as undisciplined — I was very ADD. The people who know me now generally consider me one of the most disciplined people in their life. That’s the contrast. You really can change, and it can be a complete 180. It doesn’t happen overnight, though. It’s consistent effort. It’s wanting to grow, adding small practices and daily habits that just stack — day after day after day.
Now flip it, because expectations cut both ways. Growing up I always had a ton of energy, enthusiasm, creative ideas, excitement, joy — and I still do. Everybody expects that of me, and that’s great. That’s a good expectation. Some people hold you to a higher standard — they assume you’re disciplined, you’re happy, you’re social, you’ll show up — and that assumption pulls you up to meet it. People can carry fond, generous things about you too. It’s not all baggage. You want expectations like that.
It’s the negative ones that cost you. The people holding you to a standard you’ve already risen above.
Picture Chunk again — but at 45. You think he wants to be hanging around the same dudes who still expect him to walk in and do the truffle shuffle? Who still see the chubby kid at the gate and treat him like nothing’s changed in thirty years? Nobody wants to spend their forties performing the role they got cast in at twelve.
That’s exactly what the negative expectation does to you. You walk into the room and quietly lower yourself to the old version — before you’ve even said a word, you’re doing the shuffle again. And it does not feel good. Hanging around people who drag you back down to a level you’ve left behind never feels good.
It’s hard to give up relationships with roots. I know that. But if you want the man you used to be to stop existing, you have to make changes now. Yesterday, even.
And sometimes the move is simpler than cutting people off. If someone keeps lowering you to who you used to be, maybe you just pull them aside. Hey. That’s not me anymore. I don’t love being treated like that, or pulled back down to that level. You’re allowed to say it.
Because we accept the love we think we deserve. Right? Something like that.
Listen to the Isbell track today. Live Oak is a man haunted by the version of himself — the dangerous one, the one he was before he softened. “There’s a man who walks beside me, he is who I used to be.” He can’t tell if he’s grown or just lost the part of him that mattered. Same question, other side.
And if the people in your life don’t understand you or what you do — that’s okay. We don’t need to be understood. We’re all going to die, some of us sooner than we think. Don’t you want to be the person you actually want to be? Or at least be honestly chasing them — pursuing that person, with real hope of living up to the goals and the ideals you set for yourself?
You know the quote — you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
So while you’re settling down for thought today, run the list. Who are your five? What are they learning right now? Who’s growing with you, and who’s growing against the grain? Do you surround yourself with people who are stacking good habits, who make you feel good, who are kind to people? Who brings out the best in you — makes you want to strive for more, to be better?
And who brings out the worst?
Onward,
Rob Bergeron
Owner–Realtor at Award-Winning Winner Realty
The Morning Bergeron daily track playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/the-
PS: Facts:
The Fed held at 3.5–3.75% — then flipped its own dot plot from a cut to a quarter-point hike before year-end.
CPI hit 4.2% in May — the hottest in three years — but core was 2.9%. The difference is a barrel of oil.
Pending home sales rose 4.8% year-over-year — at 6.5% mortgage rates. The "waiting buyer" is closing, not waiting.
First-time buyers were 35% of May purchases — the highest share in years, with rates above 6%.
Louisville's median hit $259K, up 3.8% year-over-year, with homes moving in 39 days at 98.1% of asking.
Louisville has 2.5 months of supply. Balanced is 4–6. This is still a seller's market in most neighborhoods.
Would love to talk more! Schedule a time: HERE!
PSS: New fully renovated listing available….with seller financing! Check it out! Not to mention rates are finally creeping back down! in the 6.2% range now! Hoping we get to the 5.9%-6.10% with less volatility in the market.